In the Loop with Andy Andrews
ITL161: When to Eliminate the Negative People from Your Life

On this week’s episode, I discuss when to eliminate negative people from your life.

 

We hear that we need to eliminate negative people from our lives.

  • Yet, if we know that we are consistently negative, we certainly hope everybody is not eliminating us.

 

What if Jones eliminated negative people from his life?

  • He would have certainly eliminated me.
  • But Jones didn’t have to consider dropping me from his life.
  • He had moved so far beyond where I was that I had no influence on him at all.
  • His challenge with me was figuring out how to say things to me so that I could understand them and so they would resonate with me.

 

When I was living under the pier, I really needed to eliminate the negative influences in my life.

  • I had to determine which people always acted negatively.
  • If they were both looking and thinking, I could be friends with those people safely.
  • There are people at a very high level of success, and I’m looking to spend more time with them and watch them carefully.
  • There are also some people who are just beginning that journey. Those people would not affect me in a negative way, and maybe I could be a Jones to them.

 

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
  • E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com
  • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
  • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews
Direct download: ITL_161.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:47am CST

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on staying positive day in and day out.

 

We’ve talked about this a lot but I really believe that our thinking is the foundation of everything that we become.

  • It’s what we accomplish.
  • It’s who we are.
  • It’s the family we raise.
  • It’s the society in which we live.

 

Frankly, I’m not always positive.

  • It’s something that I want to be, but I don’t want to be an idiot.
  • I want to be positive because I’ve figured out the version of the truth that I want to live my life with.
  • What I mean by “version of the truth” is that sometimes, people are able to look at the same thing and get two totally conclusions, but in a way both of them are true.

 

A huge thing for me is to have a long view of time.

  • A long view of time will generally yield a more positive way of looking at things that is more hopeful, more peaceful for you and your family, and absolutely true.
  • When you have a long view of time, you can see the truth easier.

 

If you feel people are looking to you for everything, I would imagine it’s because you’ve been successful in the past at providing perspective about a situation that was true.

  • Jones always told me that if a perspective is well thought out and true, it is life changing.
  • In crazy moments, you have to go back to the truth.

 

There are huge benefits to issues, problems, and failures. You are building a story.

  • A story will tell you the truth about what happened.
  • What happened will yield a historical record.
  • A historical record produces a longer view of time.
  • And a longer view of time will reveal how you really need to handle something.

 

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
  • E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com
  • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
  • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on the difference between discipline and punishment.

 

Before getting into that I have a quick story:

  • A few weeks ago, I was getting ready to head out of town and Polly asked, “Have you seen Carver?” Now he’s a huge standard black poodle, and it’s unusual not to see him for a few hours.
  • As I’m about to leave, Polly says that they found him. He was under the garage with Skippy, our outdoor cat. It turns out the cat was sick, and Carver been under there with it for hours taking care of it.
  • Polly took Skippy to the vet and he didn’t make it, but it’s amazing how intelligent these dogs can be.
  • These moments can be times to talk to your kids about death, and give them comfort with how small of an amount of time they will be without someone in the grand scheme of eternity.

 

So, what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

  • Discipline is what you are creating in a child.
  • Punishment is a necessary part of discipline to get to an end result that you want, which is that this person doesn’t have to be punished or disciplined again because they now understand the concept of self-discipline.
  • King Solomon said, “Discipline a child while he is young, or YOU will ruin his life.”

 

You want to make sure that a child knows to obey now, and if they are outside the circle of discipline then there will be a punishment.

  • When you make sure the child knows to obey, there will come a time that you can say, “stop” and they stop. Subconsciously, this child is aware that they stopped but that they still want to continue moving forward.
  • Subconsciously, this child is beginning to connect that they can make themselves do something that they don’t want to do, to get a result they want…not be punished.
  • That is the very beginning of a thought process leading to self-discipline.

 

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
  • E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com
  • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
  • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews
Direct download: ITL159_-_The_Crucial_Difference_Between_Discipline_and_Punishment.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:53am CST

On this week’s episode, I discuss money and the influence it should have on your parenting style.

 

How does the amount of money you have (or don’t have) affect your parenting style?

  • Obviously both can create issues and both have to do with the thinking of the parents.
  • If you have more money, there are more places you can go or vacation, but that stuff isn’t necessary under the umbrella of “parenting.”
  • Our goal is to raise kids who become great adults.
  • I’ve seen situations where having a lot of money created more problems with kids than situations where money was scarce. 

 

Austin just turned 15, and he was aware at 10 years old that he would be buying his own car.  

  • I’ve talked with him a lot about why it is important for him. 
  • He understands that we are after him having an awesome adult life. 

 

For a child to become a great adult, it’s easier to reach your potential if you have the confidence that you are capable of doing things yourself. 

  • That will give you some pride (not in the egotistical way). 
  • And generally, if you buy a car yourself, you take better care of it. 

 

As far as parenting, I really believe that our quality time, and even our gifts, do NOT have to be about having money. 

 

  • I urge you to find something that your kids love to do, that you can not only do with them, but it’s also something that causes you to wait. 
  • If you can somehow get them interested in the woods and the water, that will bring a lot of opportunities to sit. 
  • It teaches us to be patient and that we don’t always catch something, but we can always have an awesome time. Catching something is just a bonus. 
  • The last thing about this is you want to have time with your children that they can sit and think of questions to ask you and you can sit and think about your answers. That doesn’t come in any other setting. 

 

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
  • E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com
  • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
  • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews
Direct download: ITL158_Can_You_Still_Parent_Your_Kids_Well_Without_Having_Much_Money.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:00am CST

On this week’s episode, I give some advice to a family with two boys gifted in different ways, and I give suggestions on how the parents can help guide them to the right career paths.

 

My wife says I have been gifted with being able to remember every single thing I’ve ever seen or heard, and I do have one very odd gift that I will display on occasion.

  • I can listen to someone and repeat almost instantly what they are saying with some of the inflections and barely miss a beat.
  • My teachers used to say my mouth could run by itself.

 

Isn't it odd how the same parents can raise children the same way, but they still can turn out so different?

  • I try to direct my boys toward thinking about the benefits of being brothers.
  • “You will always have each other, and being different is a good thing. You can fill the empty spaces that the other one has.”

 

When it comes to picking a career path, take a breath.

  • When I was twenty, I was living under a pier.
  • I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be working, but I thought I was supposed to be a veterinarian, then a comedian, then a businessperson, now…
  • You could probably say about me that I haven’t identified a main career path yet.

 

For teens and young adults having trouble identifying the direction they want to go in, ask them these questions (if it won’t discourage them):

  • What is it that you just love, and if money were no object what would you get up and do everyday?
  • What value does that have for other people?
  • And when you figure that out, prove it by getting out there and doing it.
  • If you can do this, you will never be without work again.

 

Questions for Listeners

Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show!

  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
  • E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com
  • Facebook.com/AndyAndrews
  • Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

 

Direct download: ITL_157_-_How_Do_You_Help_Kids_Find_The_Right_Career_Path.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:29am CST